Relationships are greatly influenced and shaped by our feelings. As our thoughts, feelings and behavior’s are all connected. We want everyone in our family to feel valued but sometimes this is easier said then done. Sometimes, we assume they know they are valued and cannot understand why they don’t feel valued. There are things we can do when we are communicating with each other to reinforce this feeling of value and decrease the feelings of anxiety.
Recognition: take the time to acknowledge each member in the home so that they know they are seen. This does not mean a simple “hi” or “bye” when you are entering or leaving the home, but it is more about taking the time to truly recognize them. For example, watching your child when they are playing sports or receiving a particular award. In general, what I am saying is do not be to busy to be with your child and to recognize their existence.
Acknowledgment– listen to your child when they are talking to you, ask them questions to show that you are engaged and want to hear their point of view then take some time to reflect on what your child said. This helps you to be sure you are thinking before your talk and shows your child that you value what they are saying. It is often helpful to paraphrase what you heard your child say.
Disagreeing is healthy– it is better to be true to yourself and your child. Being authentic is important but often it is how we do it that matters the most. It is best to do this with recognition and with acknowledgement. When we express a different opinion or view with recognition of the other person and acknowledgement then the other person tends to feel more valued and respected. This will enhance your child’s self confidence and the self concept. This approach enables a person to speak and be understood. It’s like a spiral, when one person says something the other person reacts. The way of communication.