Boundaries Yes or No

Setting boundaries can be a challenge and it is a familiar topic for most people. We all need to set boundaries with our partner, friends, colleagues, and family members.  It can be difficult to try to please or meet other expectations and still respect our own needs. We don’t want to face the conflict or disappoint anyone. However, boundaries are important because they can help to keep us safe.

A sure sign that you may need to reflect on your boundaries and learn ways to communicate them to others is when your trust is being violated or your needs are not being met. Sometimes we are willing to put our boundaries aside to try to meet unmet needs or rid previous hurt. It is not uncommon to think if we please this person who has hurt us then they will stop hurting us. But it is necessary to set boundaries to develop, maintain and strengthen relationships. Healthy boundaries respect yours and others needs. They let us know if we need to respond in a way that aligns with our values or our true self.

For example, think of yourself talking to a family member that is speaking poorly of someone you care about. Do you risk hurting their feelings and ending the conversation or saying something about what is being said or do you ignore the comments and resent the person for saying what they said. It is important to keep the space around us safe by verbalizing our thoughts.  This can help us to be authentic to ourselves and its shows the person that we are speaking to respect. It is about being honest, and direct with our thoughts and feelings. Setting boundaries will help you to be true to yourself by living a life and surrounding yourself with your values.

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