So many people become quite anxious at Valentine’s Day, whether it be because they are trying to make the day special for the person they love or feeling completely alone because they are single. I remember the many years that I was alone for Valentine’s day bingeing on chocolate, watching romantic shows and doing what I could to distract my mind and swallow my feelings. Valentine’s Day has become commercialized and has put a lot of pressure on millions of people yearly. But it does not need to be this way.
If you are being hard on yourself because you are single, then you are not alone. I too have felt lonely and somewhat empty and sought therapy at times to assist with these inner battles. It was not until I took the time to decide that I did not have to celebrate Valentine’s Day with a significant other, but that I could celebrate my love for myself instead that I started to appreciate the beauty of the day when I was single.
This is when things changed for me, my anxiety decreased and I took the special day to appreciate me.
Think of what is meaningful to you.
What can you do for yourself to lighten the pressure of the day?
I suggest you do things for yourself that make your day a little easier like ordering in pizza, going for a nice walk, or having a warm bath with candles and a glass of wine. Of course, one glass not 10 as alcohol is a depressant and can only make you feel worse in the end.
Practice self-care, especially when you are feeling anxious…….
- Love yourself in a non-judgmental manner. This means be patient with yourself and know that we are all imperfect and this is what makes us special, it is the imperfections that make us personable and relatable. The thoughts of perfectionism breed anxiety.
- Take the time to focus on getting your mental health in check, meditate, take the day off from work or chores, go for a walk, or take time journaling and listening to good music. Taking the time to calm your mind and be in the moment combats anxiety.
- Plan something special for yourself, like having your favourite meal or watching your favourite movie. Doing things that you enjoy and make you happy can take your mind away from the things you want or desire and help you to appreciate what you do have presently. Allowing yourself to be in the moment decreases anxiety.
- Spend some time with friends who are also alone on Valentine’s day. Make it date night with those you care about. The odds are that they may be battling the Valentine’s blues and may be anxious about what they will do on the day as well.
- If you are feeling lonely, take time to write down a list of the people who love you and the people who appreciate you, such as family friends, or work colleagues. Focus on the positives to help you look at the goodness in your life and combat the pessimistic attitude that comes with loneliness and anxiety.
Even though, I am now married and can spend this special day with the one that I LOVE I also make a point of celebrating the day to show my love for myself. It is Valentine’s Day that can be a special day to remind myself I am loved by the most important person of all (myself)!!!