Grief can be complicated and extremely painful. It entails creating a new way of living life with the loss or death that occurred. It can feel horrible and lead a person to think that living life fully again is impossible.
Many people use denial to decrease the dreadful feeling of pain. It can be tough to process and accept the loss as reality because our worlds have often changed as a result and what we knew is now different because of the loss. Sometimes pretending the loss does not exist can help in the moment so that we can be grounded enough to understand what has and is happening. This shock can be hard on the body as stress is still pumping through the veins, impacting the person who is grieving’s well being.
It is also quite common to have an overpowering feeling of anger. The emotional pain a person may feel can be crushing and having anger can feel like a way to channel those feelings. The feelings of frustration and anger is normal and allowing a person to express themselves in a way that is acceptable opposed to being scared or depressed. However, when a person has intense feelings of anger, they often relay aloofness, coldness, or an unfriendly energy that makes them seem unapproachable. This is unfortunate because the secluded or lonely feeling you may have does not helps but hinders the healing process. Having emotional support, comfort and encouragement cultivates balance when a person is feeling unbalanced. This emotional comfort can help minimize the numbness and hurt a person may be feeling. It can help a person regain balance and instill a new way to live life with the loss.
Many people will strive to minimize the hurt they are feeling by bargaining. This can occur in variety of ways such as, making promises to God or a higher power like cleaning up their act or changing who they are. The helpless feeling can lead a person to want to bargain or reach out to something bigger then being human. However, when acceptance starts to occur, so does the feeling of being humble and imperfect. Bargaining can help a person to feel in control with a situation that they have little to no control over. We might reflect on our faults and harm we have caused others which can motivate us to want to do different or be better and can be used as a bargaining tool. Sometimes these thoughts can help a person establish a sense of hope for their future. They are normal and can be apart of the grieving process.
It is also very common for people to feel depressed when working through grief and loss. Looking at the loss is painful, and the feelings of the emotional roller coaster can be intense. Often, as the sorrow worsens and the gloom expands, depression and isolation can begin. It is important to seek help if these feelings become too much to cope with. An objective person can help you to walk through your feelings and thoughts in a healthy manner.
When we are starting to create a world around the loss, we begin to develop acceptance. We will still feel the pain from the loss but are able to accept what has occurred. With acceptance we can be hopeful that our hearts will heal and establishing a new norm develops.